


teardrops on my guitar

by ilyhwj



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, cravity debut in 2 days, gongtang, idk if this is sad tbh, semi angst?, seongmin’s pov, seongtae, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23610295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyhwj/pseuds/ilyhwj
Summary: Ahn Seongmin writes letters to his crush, Kim Taeyoung.
Relationships: Ahn Seongmin/Kim Taeyoung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	teardrops on my guitar

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic, so i’m really sorry in advance if it’s bad! please excuse my lazy ass too if there are grammatical errors :(
> 
> thanks to @youngtaezluvbot for proofreading? and for encouraging me to post this ♡
> 
> tw // mild self deprecation, swearing

_ 🎶 Now Playing: Taylor Swift – Teardrops On My Guitar 🎶 _

•••

  
  
  


_ “april 29 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, my new lab partner _

_ i don’t normally write letters to my lab partners. heck, i don’t normally write letters to a person at all unless i feel some sort of attraction towards them. do i like you? do i have a crush on you? to be honest… i don’t know. but for some reason, thinking about you makes me feel so giddy. this morning, i pressed the snooze button once instead of the normal five or more times… because your face appeared in my head. your beautiful, flawless face... ugh, why am i even writing this?! now things will get awkward for me when we do another lab activity!!  _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahh seongmin ♡ _

_ p.s. uh why are you suddenly approaching me? your seat is at the other side of the classroom??” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “may 17 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, my only friend _

_ i didn’t know us being lab partners would eventually lead to us becoming friends and me developing a lil huge crush on you. but, what’s there not to love about you? as cheesy as it sounds, it seems like your physical beauty mirrors your beauty within. i just… i’m whipped for you, taeyoung. and there is NO way out. nowadays, you make it harder for me to contain my feelings for you. why would you wanna eat lunch with me all the time? why would you wanna walk me to and from school everyday? why would you volunteer to be my partner whenever the teacher’s considerate enough to let us pick our own partners? why, just why, taeyoung? why do you love spending so much time with me? stop it before i fall for you completely. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin ♡ _

_ p.s. actually… please continue hanging out with me or i’ll be absolutely devastated :(” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “may 24 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, the loml? _

_ not sure if i’ve mentioned it before but surprise! i actually own a guitar and i make songs using it!! i haven’t made a song in such a while though, but my teelings (taeyoung feelings) have been at its peak recently so why not give it a shot, right? i’m not sure how i’ll make this song sound like yet, so i’ll give it some more thought. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin ♡” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “june 26 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, my best friend _

_ updates on the song i’m making? well, i finished it! it sounds really lively and soft unlike my previous songs… what are you doing to me, youngtae? even my music style is changing because of you, or i just feel really happy right now? anyways, i usually keep these songs to myself but who knows? i might become unexpectedly courageous one day and sing this for you. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin ♡” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “july 12 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, the person i want only for myself _

_ i asked you yesterday that hypothetically, what if i like a person and my feelings for them were really strong? do i confess to them, even if i’m pretty sure they’ll reject me? you said i should try, because even though they reject me, at least i’ll be able to get it off my chest. but, that’s what i hate and fear: rejection. especially from someone i deeply care about, you. i don’t wanna risk losing you just because of my greed. so, as much as i wanna tell you how i feel, i’ll just try to forget about them from now on. i’d rather have you as a friend, than not have you at all. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin ♡ _

_ p.s. i guess my song will only be known to me then :(” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “july 22 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, the one who broke my heart _

_ just as i was trying to forget my feelings, minhee hyung comes in the picture. i know i should use this as a chance to finally move on from you, but it just fuelled something in me. i want you for myself, only. why the fuck did you not tell me that you like someone else? even though i knew i was bound to be rejected if i confessed, i still kinda hoped that you liked me back. you led me on, taeyoung. were you just holding my hands and playing with my hair before to show your affection as a friend? do friends do that normally? i don’t know… i don’t have friends. you’re my only friend. but, i’m left with the regret of not confessing to you anytime soon. if i did, would things be different? would i be the one holding your hand right now? _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin _

_ p.s. i hope we’ll still be able to hangout even though you have a boyfriend now” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “september 27 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, my friend? _

_ i haven’t written a letter in such a long time, since i’ve been too busy with schoolworks and wanting to forget my feelings for you. but, i just have to ask, why do we not hangout anymore? when you started dating minhee hyung, it was a given that we’ll spend less time together but those times decreased and decreased as the days went by until it seemed like we went back to being strangers. the only interactions we’ve had for the past month were short greetings and smiles in the hallways. we also started being awkward during lab activities. so… what happened? was i not a good enough friend for you? was my greed for you too much that i ended up losing you altogether? it just hurts, taeyoung. it hurts seeing the person i love happy with someone else, and acting like i don’t exist when we used to be inseparable. anyways, as much as i wanna vent even more, i have a lot on my plate right now so i’ll go do those instead of crying over someone who doesn’t give a fuck about me. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “october 11 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, the person i despise? _

_ i don’t know what to feel with the news. should i feel happy? sad? indifferent? would it be sadistic of me to feel happy that you’re going through a heartbreak now like i’ve been experiencing for the longest time? should i fight minhee hyung for breaking up with someone perfect like you? should i go and comfort you? but, why should i? i thought you didn’t know i exist. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ “december 25 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, an old friend _

_ how are you feeling today? still hurt from minhee hyung dumping you? well, no one asked but i feel devastated this christmas. i used to always spend it with no friends, but now i have to spend it with losing a friend. a friend that i wanted to be more than friends with, to be more exact. it’s very unfortunate really, we could’ve spent christmas evening by binge-watching all christmas movies in existence while going through my whole stock of popcorn with almost all the flavors in the universe, but you stopped acting like i existed. who’s lost is that, then? yours? lmao, you probably don’t even care to think about what i’m up to these days. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin _

_ p.s. have a merry christmas and a happy new year :)” _

  
  
•••

  
  
  


_ “january 17 _

_ to: kim taeyoung, the one who broke my heart twice _

_ school only started again a few days ago, and you and minhee hyung are back together? i hate to say it, but you two look great together. i hate how i agree with everyone else when they say that you two are actual couple goals. i mean, who spends the whole day together in each other’s arms? wasn’t that us, though before? but, without the mutual feelings of love. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin” _

  
  
  


•••

  
  
  


_ january 23 _

  
  


Seongmin constantly took nervous glances at the door of their classroom, waiting for Taeyoung to get in. It was almost his birthday, and he was going to give him a gift in advance, since they won’t be having school for the next few days.

He felt his heart beating fast as soon as his ex-friend came in, smiling from ear to ear as he was using his phone, obviously chatting Minhee. Seongmin felt his heart breaking at the sight, yet he still stood up and walked towards where Taeyoung was. He was seemingly fidgetting with the box in his hands, his anxiety increasing for every step he took.

Taeyoung looked up at the boy who was standing beside his table and handing him a little navy blue box with a baby blue ribbon wrapped around it. Seongmin didn’t realize that he was staring at him, he still looked so beautiful even when he was the reason of his painful days and nights.

“What’s this?” He took it in his hands, snapping the younger out of his trance. He was supposed to open it until Seongmin stopped him.

“Open it later at home. It’s my gift for you. Happy advanced birthday, Taeyoung.” He said in a fast manner, managing to let out a small smile afterwards.

Taeyoung returned the smile. “Thank you, Seongmin.”

He stared at the box in his hands in curiosity, as Seongmin scurried back to his own seat from the other side of the classroom.

Truthfully, Taeyoung thought about the box he was given for the entire day. He wanted to go home as soon as possible to know just what his old friend he used to cherish a lot gave him. 

As soon as he arrived at his house, with Minhee walking him home as always, he ran straight to his room and opened the box. And, there it was. All of Seongmin’s letters. All of which were written in pieces of intermediate papers, except the latest one which was printed on a bond paper.

  
  
  


_ “january 23 _

_ to: kim taeyoung _

_ it’s almost your birthday! did you like my birthday gift for you? i hope you did. yes, i’ve been writing these letters from the day we first met. yes, i do like you. i wasn’t planning to let you read these letters at all, but i figured it would be nice to give us a bit of closure before i completely detach myself from your life. don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate you or anything. i genuinely enjoyed the time we spent together, but i think it’ll be better for both of us to go our own ways from now. i’m trying to move on, but i couldn’t since i refused to accept that you belong to someone that isn’t me. things will also get awkward between us in school now that i let you read my letters which i consider my diary entries, since i pour literally all of my feelings into these. anyways, i genuinely wish for your constant happiness even if it isn’t with me. i realized that the reason why we can’t be together isn’t because minhee got to you first, but that i will never be good enough for you. i was greedy and wanted more of you, but i have to accept that you will always just be the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. _

_ yours truly, _

_ ahn seongmin ♡ _

_ p.s. if you’re curious about the song i made for you, you’ll see a CD right under this letter so you can listen to it anytime. hope you like it :)” _

_ ••• _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! you can hmu at my twitter @gongtangz ^^


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